Saturday, December 18, 2010

I think I'm dating my OB-Gyn

So I'm on the way to my OB-Gyn appointment yesterday when I realized, it's kind of like I'm dating him.  Almost everything leading up to the appointment and, quite frankly, some of the things about the appointment are very similar to what would happen for a date.  

10 Ways a Trip to the OB-Gyn is like a Date:

 1.  The last time we saw each other, my Dr. asked me to see him again and we scheduled a "date."

 2.  A couple of days before the "date" I realized that since it's winter and my toes haven't been out, they desperately needed a pedicure.  After all, my toes will be in his face (TMI, I know) so they may as well be glossy and neat.

 3.  I had to be sure my legs were freshly shaved.  Not that he was going to be feeling up my legs, but again, they're kinda gonna be in his face, so the least I can do is make them hair-free. 

 4. Ahem, speaking of grooming...  yeah, had to take care of that too.

 5. I made sure to wear nice undies.  No, not the fancy "gonna get me some" kind, but not the laundry day kind either.  I know he won't even really look at them, but they may end up on a chair in his room and someone might see them.

 6.  I also wore a nice outfit.  Part of this is just because I'm a stay at home mom and will take any opportunity to wear pretty clothes.  But also, if my bottom half is going to be in all it's glory for him, the clothed half should look nice too.  

 7. I really hope he's going to be there on time.  I hate waiting around for a date. 

 8. I'm not exactly sure when/if my clothes are going to come off.

 9. We have some small talk and chat about our lives a little before things get nekkid.

 10. Things.get.nekkid

Now there are also countless ways a trip to the OB-Gyn is NOTHING like a date (at least not a date I'd ever like to go on).  One of the big ones this trip was that my wonderful husband and 16 month old were with me the whole time.  This led to some awesome hilarity that we recorded on hubby's Blackberry.  The mini-me has gotten big into "singing" and loves using toy microphones and/or a flashlight to sing into.  Well, as soon as we settled into the exam room, she zeroed in on the crotch lamp, determined it was a microphone and started singing her heart out into it!  She is awesome!

Mini-Me Microphone/ Ob-Gyn Exam Lamp